who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
