Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
