Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
