Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
