I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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