i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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