After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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