had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
