So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
