You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
