uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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