you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
