waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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