Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
