Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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