that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize