Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
