Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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