It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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