i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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