hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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