i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
