so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
