My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
