I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
