What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
