Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
