Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
