i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
