we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
