the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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