her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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