He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
