to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
