Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
