bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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