Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
