well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize