I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
