community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize