its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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