You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
