i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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