Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The power of my boobs compel you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
