yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
