i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
