Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
