Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
