were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
