you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
