i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
