is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
