rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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