What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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