ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize