He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize