swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
