I accidentally had phone sex last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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