So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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