Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
