Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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