let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
