you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
