That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
