Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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